What Happened When I Was Saying My Prayers

More rain today.  So lovely.  I got all the laundry done.  Made 24 more pints of salsa.  We go through a lot of it.  But hey, it has lots of healthy veges, right?  Christine had the first day of lacrosse tryouts.  Even though she already has a spot, everyone still has to try out.  She was nervous and I was too.  Mom's are like that.  I tried a new recipe for dinner:  Sweet and Sour Chicken.  It was quite good, and fast and easy.  Nice and warm and comforting on a day like this.

What I really want to write today is what happened to me last night while I was saying my prayers. Please be kind--I am human after all.

A friend of mine has a hard time being happy unless everything is her way or her perception of what is right.  She is an awesome gal, super talented, but very rigid.  That quality often serves her well but can also be her weakness.  Anyway--

Her family had some exciting news she wanted to share so she sent an email.  I quicky responded with all my love and best wishes and congratulations.  It truly was great news for them.  I was genuinely happy for them.  She sent back a LENGTHY email explaining all the reasons why they are wonderful and successful, etc.  It was comparable or worse than those gaggy Christmas letters people send out in their cards. (Sorry, I really don't care for those, but that is another post.)

I was irked, miffed, mad, angry, peeved, hurt, shocked, at a loss for words.  I totally was going to mention this in my prayers!  I was offended.

I like to pray at night after everyone else has gone to bed and the house is quiet and dark.  So I began.  The email reply was uppermost in my thoughts, but the 'little person in white' on my shoulder kept whispering:  count your blessings.  Yeah, I know the proper steps of prayer.  Thanks/gratitude first.  Okay.  Okay.  I am thankful for.....and I rattled off a few things.

The 'little person in red' on my other shoulder kept whispering:  okay you've been thankful now.  On to the email!  But the 'little person in white' whispered more urgently:  C'mon now Cindy.  You have more blessings than that!  Yes, yes I do.  Okay.  I am grateful for.......and more things came to my mind.

This repeated itself several times until all of a sudden right in the middle of my prayer, I realized that I wasn't even thinking about the awful email anymore.  I was so focused on blessings and my appreciation for the Lord's hand in the details of my life that my bitterness and feelings of offense melted away and I wasn't upset anymore.  As I knelt there just silently taking it all in and understanding what was happening I had another thing to give thanks for:  how acknowledging my blessings to God actually took the bad feelings away and replaced them with some compassion for my friend instead. 

Now, I am human after all, and the email reply still comes once in a while to my thoughts, and if I'm truthful, it still irks me a bit.  But, not like it had before and I am quicker to let go of it. 

Here I am at 54 and still learning all the time. (chuckle...)