Daily Q

Question:  Have you ever made a REALLY dumb mistake?  (Don't lie!) Can you tell about it now?

Answer:  Yes. 

Here are just two. 

1-  When Duff and I were first married, I got a box of recipe cards from an Aunt.  She had gathered and saved them from a monthly company that was doing a promotion.  New Year's Day was coming and I wanted to make an impression on my Hubby with my 'new' cooking skills.  I saw a recipe card and the pictured looked really delicious.  It was chicken livers and scrambled eggs.  I thought, okay:  I like chicken livers and I like scrambled eggs.  The presentation was beautiful.  My New Year's Day breakfast table was a picture straight out of a magazine.  The food was AWFUL.  Duff was spitting it back out onto the plate.  I was devasted until I took a bite.  We just had to laugh.  I've never made or served something since that I wasn't fairly sure would be edible!  And we still laugh about the horrible chicken liver and scrambled egg breakfast when we relate it to our kids.  They all know the story.

2--This one is a little more sensitive and sobering.  It hurts to admit it, however I learned a valuable lesson.  I was a young YW president.  We were in a social setting with some friends and their families some of whom were also on the YW board with me.  I tried so hard to set a good example and do what was right.  I took it very seriously.  Not that the other women I served with didn't, but I was bothered by the fact that some of them didn't think anything was wrong with going to R-rated movies, and most of the girls knew it.  I had struggled with do I say anything? do I let it go? it was so important to set and be an example to these vulnerable girls who were learning to make decisions.  Please don't misunderstand what I am saying.  These women were wonderful people.  Many of them were older than me and I looked up to them.  I was young and learning to be a leader. 

Long story short:  We were all gathered around a picnic table talking about movies and what was out, what we had seen, what we wanted to see.  It was women and daughters who were in the YW program.  One particular current movie came up.  It was rated R.  These women had seen it and were saying that it wasn't that good or worth going to.  My heart started pounding and I took that as an opening to say something.  I don't remember the exact words, but it was something like, "And that's why as YW leaders we obey the prophet and don't go to R-rated movies!"

It went completely silent.  If I could have willed the earth to open up and swallow me I would have.  Everyone stood up and the subject changed.  A few minutes later one of my friends and fellow YW leaders asked if she could talk to me.  We left the others and went for a walk in the park.  She let me have it right between the eyes with both barrels.  How dare I call her out on her use of agency especially in front of her children.  It was none of my business.  I burst into tears, apologized, which at the time she would not accept and she left me standing there.  She was one of my best friends.

We were several families on a camping trip together and there was no where to go.  I had to pull it together publically.  I cried myself to sleep in our tent that night while Duff had his arms around me.

What I learned:  It was a REALLY dumb mistake.  I need to check my words before I say them.  It wasn't the last time I probably haven't said something the right way or hurt someone's feelings, but I do try harder now to assess the situation first.  I learned to apologize, I learned to forgive.  I learned to be careful.  I learned not to put a parent down in front of their children.  I would have not liked that either.  I learned that over time friendships can be repaired if both parties are willing and they can be stronger for it.  She and I are still friends today, about 25 years later.