SIDS and The Scriptures

This is part of our ward conference yesterday, but it deserves it's own post.

President Carter gave a stirring interactive lesson on scripture study in the RS portion. He was closing and I remember feeling like it had only been 10 minutes and I wanted more. He asked the stake RS president to stand and make a few remarks. She prefaced them by telling us that she had given them last week to another ward and promised to do better and since it was already the top of the hour she had thought she wouldn't have to. I sensed some anxiety.

Here is her story:

It was Mother's Day. She woke up to the sounds of her husband and 3 year old making Mother's Day breakfast in the kitchen. She had one of those great when you first wake up in the morning stretches and thought: My Life Is Perfect! Then decided to get up and go feed the baby and be done and back in time for her breakfast in bed. When she walked into the nursery the baby had died during the night. (Just imagine the things that happened after, on Mother's Day no less. Police, questions, more questions, rewinding everything you did the last time you put them down, tears and more tears.)

She cried that day and then never after. Even though she was 'living', she described her heart as ice. I'm sure it was a protective measure. A form of depression. If you don't feel happiness and joy, you can't feel any more pain or grief. This went on for a long while. She said that the only 2 things she brought out of her YW years were saying her prayers and reading her scriptures. But by her own admission her prayers never passed the ceiling and the scriptures were empty to her.

She went through all the 'motions'. One day she was sitting in a RS meeting and a scripture was read. It pierced her. She started crying--finally. And her grieving process and healing began. This is not to say everything was fixed instantaneously--it was a journey, but it could start. Had she not been in the process of going through the motions and still praying and reading she wouldn't have been in the 'place' (physically and spiritually) to literally save her life.

What I learned from this:

Courage. I can't believe how much courage it must have taken to share this very intimate, private season of her life when she wasn't at her best. I am drawn to people with this kind of courage. I hope I can be like that. It is so easy to put on our best face and present in all of our answers that our lives are just fine. But that is a lie, because if they were all fine we wouldn't be growing, and we need that progression. We may not want it, but it is necessary.

We Need To Share. When the spirit prompts us. We shouldn't 'cast our pearls before swine', meaning we shouldn't just share private things regularly that may not be taken or appreciated for their merit and be trampled upon. Some growing experiences are very sacred. But I believe the spirit prompts us more than we like to admit and we ignore it. Out of fear perhaps on how it will be received or how we will look to confess a weakness.

God Loves Us And Is Aware Of Us. Even when we don't feel Him. Even Christ had his period of feeling forsaken. While he was on the cross. Yet he went forward.

Priesthood Leaders Are Inspired. I felt for President Carter in asking her to give her testimony about this time in her life. He is such a compassionate man. He obviously knew how hard it would be for her to share but that both she and us needed the experience with the spirit. Her to give and us to receive.