Such Sad News....

Got word yesterday that Jaron Scrivens from our stake was killed in a car accident on Monday morning. He was just 18 years old and in his first year of college at the SL extension of BYU. He had gone to Vancouver for a family reunion over the weekend.

He was driving back to Utah apparently leaving very early that morning. Around LeGrande, Oregon, he tried to pass a semi truck, hit him and rolled his jeep.

He was a GREAT kid. The youngest of 4 brothers. Just ordained an elder a few weeks ago. A lot of kids in our ward were really close to him and are having a hard time.

It brings back memories of when my roommate, Sandy Robbins, was killed in a car accident. She had just become engaged to Rick Starr, and they were driving to California so he could ask her dad for her hand in marriage. They left Provo late at night after the "Bread" concert. He fell asleep at the wheel just north of Las Vegas by the Valley of Fire sign, woke up, overcorrected, and went off the road, rolling the car several times and ejecting both of them. A woman driving behind them witnessed the whole thing. She drove back to Glendale, NV, to get help. But it was too late. (We NEVER drive by that sign on our way back and forth to Utah without commenting on it. Even after 30 years. Shortly after the accident that March, we stopped at the site on our way to Calif. and her electric curlers were still scattered all in the dirt.)

I remember getting the call the next morning from Sandy's mom. I think I went in to shock. It takes a while for those kinds of words to sink in. We had grown up together, went to school together, lived together, got engaged around the same time, skied together.

I had all her things packed up in my room to take home to her family when I went home to get married. It was hard to have it all there where I saw it 24/7, could visualize her, smell her. I was asked to give the euology at a memorial service in Provo. It was in that big double stake center building on 9th east near Wymount Terrace. It was completely full. To this day I don't know how I got through it, but I did. I still remember the dress I wore that day. (She was a BYU cheerleader at the time and was known by a lot of people).

These kinds of experiences can take you one of two ways: you either believe the gospel and the plan of salvation, or you question and get bitter. Either way life marches on and you must figure out which way you will go. It is a life changing experience as you work through it. For some it gets figured out in a blink, for some it takes a while. The important thing is to get there.

For a long time, years, I held on to the thinking that it was 'just her time to go, so the Lord took them'. Simple. It made her death easier to accept. But over time I began to see a bigger perspective: while we are each appointed unto death, God lets the natural consequences of our choices happen. They were driving during the night, tired, pushing. His dad had had an uneasy feeling about the trip and expressed it. As most of us do at that young adult age, we feel invincible, and Rick shrugged it off. After all, weren't they doing a good thing? Accidents happen! They really do. I think of my aunt killed in another car accident in Rexburg, and my father-in-law killed in a car accident.

Sandy's death impacted the way we travel. We always remind our kids when they are driving long distances: remember Sandy Robbins. That's all we have to say and they know what we mean. To be a little more aware, a little more careful, a little more cautious, a little more wise.

Our hearts, prayers, and love go out to the Scrivens Family!